Sunday, September 5, 2010

How to be happy

Being happy is easy. Just follow the steps below to live happily.

Have a best friend.
Hey, who doesn't need a friend who knows everything about you, and tells you all the wrongs you did? We all do something bad once a while, and we all need someone to blame when it happen, so a best friend will be your best shot on blaming. ;)

Have a foe.
Not to fight with him or anything violent or stupid, but hey, life is wonderful when you get to laugh at someone right? Laugh at how miserable he is, how ugly his girlfriend is, and how much he sucks. When depressed, think of him and you quickly got a dose of happiness. Who else's gonna be the sucker when you're telling a lame joke?

Have a dream.
Who doesn't need a dream. Without dreams, you are just like my hamster, trapped in a mortal body. A dream makes us happy when thinking about it, and hallucinating yourself is better than getting high on drugs. If you can achieve your dream, or on the pursuit of it, good for you! go on, now you can laugh at those idiots who have no dreams.

Have a break.
Take a break from the tension life you are living, if you think so. Everyone needs to chill out, glaze at the sky, and mind left blank once in a while. It's not a crime, unless you abuse it for procrastination. A kit-kat at that time is a plus, trust me.

Have a hobby.
Or even better, a weird one. If you like to collect rubber ducks, or you like to paint abstractly in the nude(using no canvas and no brush), whatever weird hobby is better than no hobby. But for those extreme ones, it's better you keep that to yourself and entertain yourself.

Have an income.
It's always happy making money. Especially hard earn ones. Whether it's making money from doing part time jobs or illegal betting(like poker), spending your own money gives you the feel of being the boss, and who doesn't like being the boss? I don't care how I make money, I care how I spend them.

Have a lover.
Ah, love. Go court a girl, be successful, and then sweet-talk all you can with her. It's one of the pleasures since the ancients, even Alexander the Lame can't resist it. You can bring her for dinner, hold hands, hug, do something silly, or even try something EXCITING. "parental discretion advised"

Lose a lover.
Losing a lover means being a bachelor again. Hey, what's wrong with that?! I can eat whatever style I like, I decide when I should fart, and I get to eye EVERY girl that cross my path.
Don't be jealous you all.

Have another lover.
This time, you know the trick. Where to go when to do it what to do how to do it, everything. Because skills grow with experience, you made sure this is a bullseye when you set your target.

Have a favourite singer.
Songs from your favourite singer(s) touch your sweet spots, either make you real happy or real sad. Being sad is being happy too, if you look at the flip side of it. Look at those Bieber fans who got Bieber fever, they are oh so happy. Why? because they have a freaking favourite singer, eventhough he's a sissy.

Ya, failing plays a big part in your life. If you have never failed before, it's like winning every time you play a video game. It's no fun. You have to lose to enjoy winning, then you will come back for more. This part is easy, you fail everyday I believe.

Be sad.
It's the same as failing. You gotta know how "sad" feels like, before you can indulge in happiness.

Last but not least:

It's useless if you are just a piece of fat meat on top of a cold, silver table, and one big ass dude pokes you with his knife.
Live on, then you will have your part of the pie of happiness.
Patience is a virtue.


  1. worth some questions:
    You have always been a sucker to me, but does that count as a foe? xD
    Does digging nose count as a weird hobby?

    and I won't plan to fail in order to feel happy though. And I won't need parental discretion for something exciting with my girl(s) haha

  2. You're the sucker aaron, I'm just an observer.
    ya whatever shit you do counts as weird hobby, HAHA.

    I know you're over 18 already, so now you can do whatever with your girls without discretion. hehe, bad boy aaron.


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